Queen Side Castle


Queen Side Castle

Pawn takes Bishop

Rook to g8


The man I know is not myself

It is not the man you know,

But the man you think you know,

That you regard as a foe,

For what he is you do not know.


It is not the man that is,

But the man that says he is,

That will try to make you his,

For that is what it is.


It is not the man that can,

But the man that thinks he can,

That is less of a man,

For he only thinks he can.


It is not the man that will,

But the man that says he will,

And until he has his fill,

If you trust; use you he will.


So when you say I am,

Be sure you mean I am,

For it’s no world of the lamb,

If you look at what I am.


Critical thought

Why can’t I see but black and white?

With one midday and one midnight.

No sunset in my meekly sight.

Nor sunrise to make this world seem bright.

Now bitter birds of black take flight,

Signing harsh word’s to me that slight,

And though I find my heart grows tight,

To sit and contemplate what’s right,

To close my mouth or stand and fight?

Or merely sit and think and write?

My Favorite book

You were to me my favorite book

Without a chapter's end

Yet I have found I have gone on

Away from this, dear friend


It brings me to compunction (5)

When you find it to say

That you'd be with somebody else

Instead of me today


And it also makes me wonder

What did you think of I? (10)

Was I Jessica's replacement?

A stranger pacing by?


At first I thought I didn't care

At first it was al right.

You are ever so dispassionate (15)

In this percipient light


It implies that I am jaundiced

The cycle doesn't fade

For you can mitigate my heart

So that my judgment’s swayed (20)


I cannot listen to music

Without the thought of you

Commensurate to oxygen

The words- "I love you too"


You cannot take a second look (25)

At a congenial mind

I was just the catholic pedant

For such a facade's find.
Forgotten Favor

A dusty doll upon the shelf,

Her eyes, they sparkle; a spirit

Her bane – lack of use

Sit and wait

Sit and wait

On the old shop’s wall


Well never mind. It is not.

Other toys, they’re played with.


Still she sits

Still she waits

Upon the hold shop’s wall.

Glowing in their joy. THEY are.

Are her eyes green with jealousy?

Or simple lust of life?



One child, such would please her heart.

What heart? – she is a doll…



One child will please her heart.

That one; no more

“Nothing more nothing less”

“Nothing more nothing less”

A moment’s peace?

What good is it to love?

When you cannot love me back.

What good is a joyous cry?

When it’s direction does lack?

What good is the rising sun?

When there isn’t any moon.

What good is a moment’s peace?

When war comes all too soon.


Guilt by thought and hand

We pass.

Actions, thought first right.

Guilt haunts…


Falling, a heavy pressure upon shoulders,

Like rain,

Like rain,

Lost in a field of grey.


Our souls-the flower,

Suffocated by the weed, sprung from the seed we,

We with our own hands plant…


The seed that grows…


Time a tomb…

A bolder.

Cannot be moved by human hands.

Hands made by God to do his work.

Hands used by us to destroy it.


The cause of all good and evil.

Used to oppress,


To be free,



We pass,

As it feeds away at the soul.


Embers in the sky

Smiling, fire on black

Water, she does dance below

A pool of magic


 Sad knowledge

Shadowed from the world

Turned, its proud back facing morn

Knowing what’s to come


Split! A divine cause     

One dark and towering proud

The mirror image calm


The world will end

And so shall I

But well before

I say goodbye

Love, what will you find?

When we just now tied to bind

Peace, where will you be?

Swallowed by shadows we can’t see

Joy, tell me what is this?

Gone! From us by hates kiss.

A despairing life we create

With each breath dies a piece of our fate

And soon

So soon

What is in our hands we will destroy

If not for the merci of our lord.


Take my hand- I’ll dance with you

Lead me- I’ll fallow

Lift me up- I’ll sing you praise

Love me- I’ll live your work

My hands to use

Are yours to ask

My heart need not but fuel

I’ll set my mind to do your task

United by your rule


When I see you…

What I see…

When I see all you can be!

Will lust again overthrow

The crown and shield of mental glow?

Or will thoughts stay to purpose past?

Bond always to their chosen cast.

When I see you…

What I see…

When I see all you can be!


Could tell him that my heart’s gone dark

As hard and black as coal

Could tell him that my heart’s gone deep

To find the meaning of my soul.

Could tell him that my heart’s gone free

To search for my life’s toll

Could tell him this

Could tell him that

Not that he should care

Could lock the lock

Could hide the key

And let him figure how I fare


Run run; never still

Work work; or it’ll kill

Go; it’s the only way

Don’t be scared of what they say

Pain pain; is welcome here

Falling falling; is the fear

Push yourself or you will die

Push past where you now bleed and cry.


You constrain creativity

And you don’t care

So full of yourself

It makes me sick.

What is a thought to you,

If it is not yours?


And nothing it will remain

Until we destroy ourselves

One by one

Dying and hurting

All this I see

 An image…

A nightmare…

In pressed suits of black and grey men and women stand together

In the suffering

In the pain

They’re laughing in triumph

And you are among them!


The eye of my love hast been smeared with the nectar of the purple plant I know so well. So the puck that is his thought's vision hast made his pupil coloured rose. To this injury I wished myself blocked and took most admirable precautions of the heart. Yet the ocean runs through my veins and out mine eyes. I fear for me thinks my sister hast been pulled from my breast to that of my lovers. So I lay dead to the world with worry and curse in my green emotion.


For I be the lady of the grail

No maid trapped behind castle rail

He loves me not, he loves me not.

I fear dear God he loves me not.


For a pretty picture does she paint,

With a voice to envy any saint.

He loves me not, he loves me not.

I fear dear God he loves me not.


Which one does my lord now choose?

Why the one with the most cunning rouse.

He loves me not, he loves me not.

I fear dear God he loves me not.


Since cruel shape does my body hold.

With a snake's harsh tongue I've been told.

He loves me not, he loves me not.

I fear dear God he loves me not.



I have danced the dance once before.

This time the music plays no more.


ever gain I'll loose the count.

For then I loose a great amount.


Conclusions  twirl around my head,

Until my heart is almost dead.


The dif'rence from the first is this,

I know you lead shall never miss.


The dancer's foot I choose to guide,

Instead of the chance that I ride.


Be gone thou jealous drummer's beat.

For thee cannot my mind defeat.


Glory, glory, from above,

Made from the one's highest love.

Glory, glory in your eyes,

From this watch my hatred rise.


Darkness, darkness let it surge,

And let it deep from me emerge.

Darkness, darkness, I fear not,

Without it no light could be brought.


Lightness, lightness make it grow

Dissolve my tears. They cannot show!

Lightness, lightness, do you call?

And if I answer will I fall?


Thou hast struck me on the right

When thou betrayed thy word.

I turn the left so thee might

Find that I will soon be heard!

For comforts coat thou sues me

So I stand out in the cold.

I also give me cloak to thee

If it's right to be as bold.

With thee, one mile, I have gone

With pathways smooth as ice.

For the second will I be thy pawn?

Even with that I might entice.

I'm bond to thee by my will,

Though I now do feel distrust.

Does thou finds he loves me still?

Or is it because he must!


Towards the place I'm supposed to go

Jesus, guide me on my way.

Let love's words from my live lips flow,

For I've forgot how to play.

I've lost my most precious key to joy,

And misplace the key to peace.

Both seem of the theory you employ

Even when the lights decrease.

God once did send you to save me

Though be not but woman kind

In your presence hatreds flee

I'm once more of free mind.

Teach me once again to stand,

Help me to be strong.

Take me by my waiting hand.

Take me where I belong  

Hold me close to you when I cry

Help me praise the king

To my heart I shall not deny

The choice to praise and sing.

Son of God, I give you my heart

You are all there is for me

When the world's back is turned in part

You let me, the light, see!


I'm searching for something...


Anything earthly to drown...

oh yes, to drown...

The pain infecting world.

It is a disease,

dark and slimy... and it will be our end.

It lives in people...

The brothers and sisters of this world.


empty of love and full of dangers.

And just when you want to shout,

and strike the fucking bitch,

Telling  her to shove-

Her superficial sediment up her ass...

You stop..

You pause...

You wait...

You breath...

You think...

And remember...

Remember him...

Yes him!

The one who saved us!

My savoir... and yours

He is your life...

Live it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


To my Nagymama…

Now you sit by Jesus Christ

In all his purple glory,

And hold the blessed virgin’s hand

As she tells her women’s story.


Your nature does still stand strong on earth,

Proclaiming the joy of life.

You’ve been a guide to help me live,

All through of this world’s strife.


You walked past thunder, and laughed at fear

Pillar to hold up all,

And even now your spirit sings,

As I dance to its call.


To put myself in God’s hand,

Is to place my feet on solid land.

He is the wind that’s at my back.

The mountain stone that doesn’t lack.

The sheet on which my pencil writes.

The brightest of the holy lights.

Through people’s words of ice and snow,

In him you can still sprout and grow.

Trapped even under rock and wood,

You can’t be blinded from his good.

A little faith can save a man,

As we try to work in his great plan.

My teacher, mother, father, one.

I know God will guide me till I’m done.

And after that he’ll still be there,

To sit and listen to my prayer.

The truth will never do


I’m sick of all these foolish games,

For there are winners not.

Each one abides by his own aims,

But the prize cannot be bought.


Joyful and giddy is the word

Of a hinting clue.

I cannot make myself assured.

The truth will never do.


How frustrating I have found,

This whole ordeal to be

I know I can undo the bond

A few words set me free.


I’m scared to cut the tightening knot,

And watch it fall away.

 In sorrow’s net I will be caught.

I am sacred of what you’ll say.